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Braves’ masked superhero stumbles and still defeats another fan in mid-game race


During Atlanta Braves games, there’s a mid-game entertainment break called Beat the Freeze, where one (un)lucky fan races against a superhero named The Freeze. A fan gets a 200-foot head start, and is then followed by The Freeze, who will certainly embarrass said fan. On Friday, we witnessed one fan who thought he had the race in the bag, until he celebrated prematurely and faceplanted when he saw The Freeze pull ahead of him.

Don’t worry, McCain answered for all of that: See, what happened is just that his questions went over your head, and also he was tired because of watching the Diamondbacks play while he was on the East Coast.

Given McCain’s affinity for the D-Backs, it’s a little weird he didn’t inquire further about the infamous pee tape that the Russians are reported to be blackmailing President Donald Trump with. After all, peeing happening where peeing isn’t supposed to happen is something the D-Backs have concerned themselves with in the past.

Don’t worry, though, given how these questions went, we can be sure McCain will soon ask what the Dodgers know about Hillary Clinton’s emails and whether she did or did not pee in the Diamondbacks’ pool, too. There are rules about that sort of thing, you know.

If you’re looking for the teams that can match the Yankees in terms of sheer quantity of starting-caliber shortstops, there’s one in each league, and neither one was obvious before I ran the search.

Oh, he’s been fine, don’t get me wrong. But he hasn’t been the stellar sneaky-freaky-might-actually-get-some-stray-HOF-votes Zobrist that we’ve become used to over the last decade. This might be what he looks like at 36. The average dips because the bat isn’t as quick, and the OBP and slugging dip along with it.

Unless it’s just that stupid, rascally BABIP again, and let me check … eh, not really. I’d blame age and the fascism of biology. He’s up this high not because I think he’s going to be a drag, but because he might not be the most underrated player in baseball for the 10th consecutive year. He might be rated just fine.

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